Camilladilla has left me for 9 days. Off she goes slinging sex toys for lesbians on a cruise ship to the Caribbean. (Should I be worried?) While in my clammy lair, deep below that gilded sex worker of a city called San Francisco, I sit at my console eating frozen food and whimpering in the dark. Yes, my wife is the events coordinator for the most advanced and progressive purveyor of dildoes and butt plugs the world has ever known. Sometimes her professional responsibilities include ocean voyages to distant islands. This we have in common. My own professional responsibilities put me at or near a well known chain of rocky offshore islands once or twice per month. On a personal recreational voyage this past August, the crusty captain of a certain ocean going vessel inquired as to what my wife did for a living. I went ahead and told him. He looked at me for a while then said, and I quote: “Oh man, I love that place. I buy all my condoms there!”
Even 35 miles off shore in the rough, manly waters of the eastern Pacific, the name of Good Vibrations is known and respected!
It’s true, I may be biased, but how can I not be?
Everywhere I go I see this very familiar blonde telling me how great her company is... Kind of a strange, the experience of riding on a city bus plastered with a 14 foot photograph of your wife kissing a toad.
The author's wife, all over town!
How about that for a segue? Today, while driving back home from work I saw a commercial surfperch fisherman I know walking down the street near the deli I was heading to. Always interesting to me these guys. Dead perch sell for about two bucks a pound. Sometimes less. Live perch are the way to go at 4 bucks a pound. The guy told me he was out in the bay for 3.5 hours and caught 6 white perch—total weight: maybe 2 pounds.
White perch, or "split tail."
However, he did manage to catch fifty pounds of Pacific chub mackerel. We spoke briefly of rubberlips and pogies. I suggested that the rubberlip perch was not as abundant as it once was, to which he responded that he caught 50 pounds of rubberlips on three separate commercial trips last year. He assured me that my rubberlip pessimism was misguided and that all I had to do was go fish Alcatraz in February and I’d understand how plentiful rubberlips really are. Whoa. This was news to me (everyone knows they run in the winter but not to the tune of fifty pounds per day!) Not that I have any interest in eating rubberlips or even catching them. It just happens to be a species I am fond of. Strangely reminiscent of some of Picasso's early cubist stuff—with its absurd lips and weirdly proportioned head. Here, see what I mean…
Rubberlip Sea Perch (photo taken in 2006 for the author's "Common Surf Perches Of California")
Well, looks like another long day tomorrow. Time to stagger down the hall and whimper myself to sleep. Still ironing out the details of my SF. Commercial Fishing primer. Should be ready by Monday night. Okay gotta scram. Might be time for a brief overview of the life and times of 19th Century, SF legend, Oofty Goofty. Stay tuned for that…
Oh yeah… from our hidden bunkers high above the shifting tectonic plates of San Francisco, this has been Lombard Of The Intertidal, for: The Monkeyface News. Goodnight.